you're always on my mind
by finndimples
Summary: He didn't want to wake up, because his dreams were better than reality and the beautiful dark haired girl made him feel special and… loved, y'know? He needed to find her, that girl with the chocolate eyes that never failed to tell him how much she loved him. Finchel AU rated M
1. Chapter 1

I'm back! Due to the great response from the story I posted recently (if you haven't read it, it's called 'this is the night') and people saying that I should write more, I decided to start a multichapter Finchel AU fic! I hope you enjoy it xx

Disclaimer: Glee and everything associated with Glee belongs to its creators

**"Somewhere there's someone who dreams of your smile, And finds in your presence that life is worth while, So when you are lonely, remember it's true: Somebody, somewhere is thinking of you." **_**- Unknown**_

_She rolled them over, so that she was on top, her face pressed against his warm neck and he could feel her grin against him. He could feel her warm breath on his neck and felt a shiver go down his spine, laughing when she began to pepper his neck with quick, wet kisses. _

"_Oh, Finn, baby."_

_She lifted her face from his neck and he smiled at her, his signature lopsided smile, because how had he ever gotten this lucky to have such a beautiful, perfect, amazing woman lying on him, naked chest on naked chest, her eyes shining at him, filled with love and affection, and everything good in the world._

_He watched her ruffle her bangs out of her eyes, the white sheet over her body such a stark contrast to her dark brown hair, and he couldn't help but lift his hand slowly and caress her cheek._

"_Baby," Finn muttered, "come here." _

_She gave him that look, the one that made him feel like he couldn't stop loving her even if he tried, and completely forget about her bangs, instead diving into his lips. They shared the most passionate, beautiful kiss he had ever experienced and her hands were slowly gliding down his chest, touching every single inch of his upper body, light as a feather, until she reached his waist and—._

"Finn, wake the fuck up!" 

Finn jumped up in bed, a light sheen on sweat on his boxer-clad body – and _shit,_ you could totally see his boner – as he stared at the woman beside him.

Fuck.

"Finn, what has been up with you lately? These past few months, you've been just so strange. I just… I feel like you've been distant in our relationship, and we haven't had sex in God knows how long but you're moaning in your sleep and always whispering 'I love you, babe' or whatever, and I can't help but think there is something going on here Finn!"

He sighed loudly, tired of her super annoying bullshit. Couldn't she give him a break for even two seconds? Like, he had just opened his damn eyes!

"Quinn," Finn started, staring at the blonde woman lying beside him. When had she gotten... ugly? Like, it's not like her looks had really changed or anything. She had dyed her hair blonder and all of his friends at the fire station talked about how lucky he was to be with such a 'fucking hot' woman, but things had changed. And she didn't seem like that hot girl he had once dated. In high school, he remembered dating her because she had come up to him and said it was basically mandatory that they should date, because he was the quarterback and she the head cheerleader. She said it was meant to be, but he couldn't help thinking that it wasn't. Because maybe, once upon a time in high school he had thought that her green eyes were lively and full of joy but now they were cold and dull. And he had thought her kisses made him see fireworks behind his eyes, but now they were lacking passion and excitement and—weren't you supposed to feel something when your girlfriend kissed you? Like, butterflies in your stomach or something?

Because he remembers meeting these old people at a restaurant in Lima once and they were like, 80, but they were sitting at their table holding hands and staring at each other, and the old lady would like, blush and stuff every time her husband squeezed her hand and then he would lean over and give her wrinkly cheek a soft kiss and Finn knew it was weird that he was like, 16 at the time, staring at this old couple when he should have been just having a good time with his Puck, Santana, Quinn and Britney at the restaurant but he just couldn't.

And it was like his feet grew brains of their own and the next thing he remembers, he standing in front of the old people's table and they were just looking at him, but they didn't look freaked out or anything. It was like they knew he had something to say, but they were waiting patiently.

"I—I—uh. How long have you guys been together?"

He could feel the eyes of his friends on his and he could even hear Quinn talking about how he was an idiot. But the old couple was nothing but sweet to him.

"We've been together for 60 years, son!" Finn felt his eyes widen. 60 years? Man, that was such a long time!

Apparently he had voiced his thoughts because the man and his wife starting laughing and he kind of just stood there, embarrassed. "It's been the best 60 years of my life, actually." He smiled at them and watching the old lady blush again at her husbands words.

"Young man, sit down at let me tell you something." Finn sat down hesitantly, his long legs hanging out of the booth, because he didn't wanna crush the old lady on the other side of the booth with his oversized body.

"What's your name son?"

"Finn. Finn Hudson."

The old lady squealed. "That's such a lovely name, Finn! I'm Ilana, Ilana Berry, and this is my husband Adam, and we're from New York, and oh! Oh Finn, you're so handsome! How old are you? You must be around my grand daughters age! Oh, you would be so cute with her! She's a tiny one but she's a special star, that girl! Oh, Finn, you would look adorable toge—"

"Ilana, don't scare the poor boy!" He patted Finn's shoulder, who sat there, laughing gently and the old lady – Ilana's – little speech.

"Finn, I'm gonna share some of my wisdom with you, because you seem like a kind boy. And yes, as my wife said, a kind boy would be great with our Rachel. But, besides that, I'm gonna give you a little secret."

Finn leaned into the man, curious. "A secret about what?"

"About love, my boy!"

He blushed, because he knew – mostly because Puck never failed to tease him about it – that he was a pretty sensitive guy that thought about falling in love and soul mates and if he would ever find the right person. The small smile that had appeared on his face slipped into a frown once he realized that he was thinking about love yet any thought of his girlfriend, Quinn, hadn't crossed his mind.

"Finn, there's somebody out there for everybody. And just like we told our granddaughter, there's somebody out there that's going to love you for everything you are. Including the things that, maybe, you don't like about yourself – those are gonna be the things they like the most."

Finn thought that he had never heard anything more wise or special in his entire life.

_Slap._

The sound of Quinn's face colliding with his cheek reverberated through the room. "What the fuck, Quinn? What was that for?" Finn yelled, rubbing his sore cheek.

"Wipe that dopey look off of your face and get ready Finn," Quinn practically growled at him. "We have a lot to do today, first we told your parents they can visit this weekend so we need to clean up the apartment, and yes, that means you actually have to vacuum or something, Finn, instead of just sitting around on your lazy ass—" Finn pushed her annoying, nasally voice out of his head. He had gotten good at tuning her out after all these years of dating her.

If Adam had been right all those years ago, if he had been right about having a soul mate and finding the right person who could make you feel special, who can find something to love in your flaws… his person wasn't Quinn.

Instead, when he closed his eyes, he saw the big eyed, dark haired, absolutely beautiful girl from his dreams.

**Reviews are like hugs & kisses **


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Glee

**chapter two  
"The bottom line is that we never fall for the person we're supposed to." – Jodi Picoult, My Sister's Keeper **

He woke up one morning just _knowing. _He could feel it in the pit of his stomach. Not only there, but everywhere, from his head to his toes. And he was 6'3", so there was quite a bit of room between his head and his toes.

He had fallen out of love with Quinn Fabray.

At first, when he came to the realization, that he thought maybe he had known for a long time but had never really admitted, Finn felt like he couldn't breathe, because he had been with Quinn for as long as he could remember. She was his first everything. His first kiss, his first date, his first girlfriend, his first time. The first girl he was in love with.

But had he been in love with her at all?

Finn didn't know if he could answer that with a sincere 'yes, I was once in love with Quinn Fabray,' because he just didn't know, you know? It was like, he had heard so much about love, between what Ilana and Adam had told him all those years ago, to the chick flicks he'd watched, to the fairytales his mom used to read him. He used to pretend to hate them, but he secretly loved them and so did Kurt, so they would sit on his bed and drink warm milk while his mom read to them.

He liked Beauty and the Beast the most because he always felt like he could relate to the Beast. Since Finn had hit his first growth spurt, he had always felt awkward in his own body. It didn't help that Santana called him Man Boobs and Tubbs and other names in high school – and even now – that made him feel really shitty about himself. Yeah, maybe he should have watched what he was eating, especially in high school, but he never really felt fat and he just really enjoyed food! Dammit, he was tall, he needed lots of food for lots of energy and stuff!

But the whole 'feeling awkward in your body' thing wasn't why Finn always liked Beauty and the Beast. He really, really liked Belle. It wasn't just her long brown hair and brown eyes, but he loved those too. Everybody else in her town always found her weird and odd or whatever. She was confident and outspoken, smart and open minded. But most of all, Finn loved that she was a dreamer. She dreamed of leaving her poor, provincial town, or however the song went and Finn couldn't help but fall in love with her and root for her. He always felt like a Lima Loser himself, so when Quinn dragged him out of Lima to live in New York with her, he couldn't have been happier. And he liked New York, as much as he complained, but he only really complained to Quinn. When he walked to work, he always felt in awe of the city that never slept and all of the hustle and bustle. It was crazy; it was like nobody ever stopped, even for a second. And there were just _so_ many people, like tons of them. But he liked it that way. Every time he walked to work, he looked around, looking for the brown-eyed girl that played a starring role in his dreams. He knew she was real, because he had read once that you can't make up a face in your dreams, it has to be somebody you've seen before.

That thought made his heart skip a few beats, knowing that he must have laid eyes on her at least once in his lifetime.

But then he felt instantly guilty because he had a girlfriend, and even if he didn't love her, she was still his and he was hers. And he didn't know how to break up with her. Did he even want to break up with Quinn? It's not like he knew the girl that whispered in his ear or kissed him with those petal soft lips. And Quinn _knew_ him. Like, really knew him. She knew that he loved the smell of bacon in the mornings and that he liked dirty talk, and what it took to make him cum during sex and what his favorite color was, and all the other stuff you know about the person you've been dating since freshman year.

And that's when he remembered Ilana and Adam again, and how they talked and looked at each other as if they were on their first date, not a couple that had been together for 60 years.

That's when he really knew he wasn't in love with Quinn anymore.

"Finn! Are you almost ready?"

He turned off the running water and patted his face dry with a towel. "Yeah, Quinn, I'm almost ready."

She came running into the bathroom in a red lace bra and matching panties, her hair and makeup perfect as usual, and he wondered if he was supposed to feel turned on. But then he thought about how he was just standing there in dark grey boxer briefs and she didn't seem turned on in the slightest, instead running around the room as if she had to leave in 2 minutes instead of 20.

"Finn, quit standing there! Get ready! Don't you have to leave soon?"

And even though he hated her bossing him around and stuff, she really was like an alarm clock and a personal agenda all at once, it was insane. She stopped for a split second and stared at him like he had grown another head.

"Finn!" Quinn screeched.

"Christ, Quinn! I'm getting ready; I know what time it is! Stop worrying about me! I just have to throw on a pair of jeans and a shirt! It's not like I have to do my hair or makeup or whatever shit you do in the mornings!" He looked in the mirror and ran his hair gently over his scruffy, unshaven cheek and decided to ignore it, just to prove his point to her.

He was kinda terrified for a second as he watched a billion emotions flash through Quinn's eyes, but she settled on gentle Quinn. "Sweetie, I know. I'm sorry I haven't been the nicest to you lately. You know I love you and—and I made you coffee and toast!" She gave him a kind of sweet smile that made him forgive her.

Kinda.

She came closer to him, close enough to kiss him, and gave him a quick kiss on the lips and a pat on the back.

See what he means_? A pat on the back? _When did they—no. When did he turn into that guy that didn't need a happily ever after anymore? When did he become the guy that settled for little kisses that lacked any sort of passion and pats on the back? What the fuck was that all about?

Finn sighed loudly. "Honestly Quinn, don't worry about it. It's fine, thanks for the breakfast and everything," he told her while throwing on a clean, white button up shirt, a grey suit jacket and a pair of khaki pants. He gave her a small smile, grabbing the toast, mug of coffee, and his wallet that he shoved roughly into his pocket. "I hope you have a good day at work, babe. I'll see you when I get home. I work a long shift today, because I'm in that calendar again with some of the guys of the fire station so I need to get my picture taken and—" Quinn started pushing him out of the door, still in her lingerie. "Oh, hun, don't worry about it! I'll probably be asleep by the time you get home, so have a good day, don't work to hard, I'll see you!"

And just like that, he was on the other side of the door, in the hallway of their apartment and he started walking down the hallway, shrugging him shoulders, because Quinn was usually weird but she wasn't, like, _that_ weird.

Little did Finn know, Quinn was inside the apartment, shrugging her own shoulders in relief that her boyfriend was out of her hair, and she quickly grabbed her phone, pushing '5' while taking off her barely-there lingerie and standing inside her house.

"Hey baby. He left, and I'm in my big ol' apartment, all by myself, without anybody to protect me, and…" Quinn's raspy voice grew more seductive.

"I'm naked."

**A little bit of a cliffhanger! Will Finn ever get his balls back from Quinn's grasp and break up with her? Who is she on the phone with? No Finchel contact yet, but don't worry guys, the moment will be magical, trust me! Stick with me and we'll shower ourselves in the epitome of perfection that is Finchel!**

**Reviews made me happy**


	3. Chapter 3

**chapter three**

**Disclaimer: Glee doesn't not belong to me**

_Finn's eyes lit up at the giggle that erupted from her mouth, while his mouth was on her stomach, peppering her naked chest with his soft kisses. "Oh, Finn, stop, you're tickling me!"__She squealed between bouts of laughter._

_"__But I don't wanna stop," Finn moaned playfully, pouting while he continued to kiss her all over, holding her hips down while she laughed loudly. He didn't really expect her to grab his face so roughly and bring it up to her own. "Damn babe, that was really hot, you acting all rough like that."_

_She blushed crimson, ducking her face into her neck. "Shut up, Finn," she laughed, feeling self conscious._

_"__Why? Babe, you're so sexy, I can't—I can't get enough of you," Finn whispered, his hands slipping down her sides and lingering at the tops of her lacy panties._

_"__I am?"_

_He plunged a finger into her tight core and they both let out loud moans. "Does that answer your question?" She smiled until a second finger large entered her and another moan escaped her mouth. "You didn't really answer my question, Finny, I think I need more."_

_Finn laughed, because even when his girl was sexy, she was so god damn cute, too. He shoved another finger inside her - make that only half a finger because she was just so tight – and she yelped. "Fuck baby," Finn moaned. "Cum for me. I want to feel you cum when my fingers are inside you." Finn curled his fingers inside of her, roughly rubbing her upper wall while she screamed and came, her tightness squeezing his fingers so tightly that he couldn't help but cum, moaning her name while he did so._

_"__Rach- Rachel!"_

_They stared into each other's eyes while they came down from their highs. "You okay, baby?" Rachel whispered, stroking his cheek. Finn grinned adorably at her. "Yeah, you're so just fucking sexy I couldn't help myself." She blushed beneath him and Finn intertwined their fingers._

_"__It's me and you forever baby. Finn and Rachel, forever. I'm forever yours, Rach." _

_She beamed up at him._

He prayed that Quinn wouldn't be beside him when he woke up, because he knew he had yelled 'Rachel' in sleep and—_fuck yes_. There was finally a name to his dream girl. He was giddy with excitement, even when he looked at the absolute mess he had made in his boxers. He could hear Quinn getting ready in the bathroom and he lied back down in bed, taking it all in.

It was like July and August flew by and September had just crept up on him. Why was time moving so god damn quickly? It was like everything in his life was so monotonous, (he picked up that word from Kurt when we was on a rant about some fashion runway thing) and dreary and _boring. _Like, he couldn't tell when one day became the next, there was never anything significant going on. He felt meaningless. He felt like his life lacked anything –passion, love… greatness. There was nothing that made him feel… special, you know? The best part of his days was when he fell asleep because under Rachel's – he was so happy he finally knew her name – warm gaze, he felt loved and wanted and special. He felt like she really loved him, and he loved her right back. But then there was his mom – who he loved a lot, probably more than any guy his age loved their mom, but he couldn't help it, she was so awesome – that called him every single day and constantly badgered him about the one thing he never felt like talking about.

His love life. Like, the one outside of his dreams, obviously. And if, or when he was ever gonna break up with Quinn or propose to her, because really, in the end those were his choices.

But Quinn had started acting even more distant than ever – they never even did their Friday night dinners anymore, complete with chick flicks and popcorn, because she always had to go out or stay late at work or whatever excuses she used. He didn't really care though. He just found it weird when she started coming into bed at like, 3 in the morning, smelling all… weird, kinda. Like some weird, new perfume and _sex._ Which was weird, because like, he was _here_ in bed, in their house, so they obviously hadn't had sex. When _was_ the last time they had sex? Hell, when was the last time they had kissed? It's not like he missed it, because Rachel's beautiful kisses and her hot tightness around him, and her soft hair and affectionate gaze all felt so realHe confronted her about it one day though because, like, what the fuck was going on?

"Bye Finn, I'll see you tonight! And don't wait up for me, I might be late! I have some office work to—"

He grabbed her by wrist, careful not to hurt her, because as much as he realized he didn't love her in a romantic way anymore, he still cared about her. "Quinn, we need to talk."

Finn watched her flinch a little bit, but that was it. "What is it, Finn? And it better be quick, you know I'm in a hurry in the mornings!"

"Is there something going on with you, Quinn? Like, you don't even look at me anymore, we haven't had sex in, like, almost a year now—and it's not even about the sex! We haven't really talked in… forever, I guess. I just—I really don't know what's going on here, and then you come into bed so early in the mornings and—you know, you smell like sex and shit which is weird because, like I said, when the fuck was the last time we had sex? And even when you do stay home and sleep… don't you realize that I've been sleeping on the couch, Quinn? Because I rather sleep there than sleep in the same bed as you because it feels like sleeping beside a stranger? And the couch is uncomfortable, Quinn! And—"

"Finn, you never know when to stop talking! You said all that shit so incredibly fast! And what the hell are you talking about, Finn? I smell like sex? How would that even be possible when the last thing in this household that even remotely compares to sex was the_ stuff _I found in your boxers this morning! You could have at least hidden them"

Finn's cheeks blazed.

"Don't don't get started with me Finn," Quinn whispered icily.

He didn't have a chance to reply before she slammed the door closed

xxx

**Don't worry everybody, the end of Fuinn is near and more importantly, Finchel is coming soon! Love to all of my supporters, thank you so much. And don't stop reviewing xx**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee**

**"Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before finding the right one, so that when we finally find the right one, we will know how to be grateful."  
Unknown**

He woke up that morning absolutely pissed off, for good reasons.

1) Quinn hadn't come home last night.  
2) He was so worried about Quinn's whereabouts (he still _cared _about her) that he didn't dream. And if he didn't dream, that meant he didn't see _Rachel._

So yeah, he was pissed off. He thought he had every right to be.

Finn flung himself out of bed, eyeing himself in the vanity mirror. He looked like shit. His eyes were bloodshot because he was just so damn tired, his hair was sticking up as if he were electrocuted and was that—was that a grey hair?

Fuck.

He showered quickly and brushed his teeth, not bothering to shave because he had that stupid fucking calendar photo shoot thing today at the fire station. Next thing he knew, Quinn strolled in through the front door of their apartment, a smile on her face. "Hey, Finn. I picked you up a bagel and a coffee at Starbucks." She set the food and coffee down on the table, walking around the kitchen to their bedroom as if nothing happened. As if she had come home last night. As if everything was still _good_ between them.

She didn't make it to the bedroom before he exploded. And by exploded, it meant that Finn whipped the bagel she bought him at the wall and the hot coffee was covering the floor, seeping into the hardwood.

"What the _fuck_, Finn!" Quinn screamed, running around frantically to get paper towels and clean up the mess he made. "What the fuck is wrong with you!"

"What the fuck is wrong with _me_?!" Finn roared at Quinn, who was scrubbing at the floors, not even bothering to make eye contact with him. "You didn't come home last night! You didn't call, you didn't even text! I was fucking _worried _about you, Quinn!"

She said nothing.

"What kind of relationship is this. Quinn? Huh? What the _fuck _is this? Because I don't think I'm in love with you and you definitely don't give a fuck about me!" Quinn didn't look up, still trying to soak up the coffee before it stained the wood. "Fucking look at me!" Finn screamed, only to be met with Quinn's cold eyes shooting daggers into him.

"What do you want me to say, Finn? Do you want me to say I love you? Because I can't honestly say that I do. Do you want me to say sorry? What do you want to fucking hear, Finn?"

He had to refrain from kicking her in the face because right now he just hated her so much; he didn't think it was _possible_ to hate a person this much. He was wiping tears off of his face that he hadn't even realized had begun.

And she started laughing.

"Fuck you, Quinn," Finn spoke, in a low whisper.

"Finn, calm the fu—"

He slammed the door in her face, just like she had done to him the day before and headed off to work.

xxx

He liked New York. Actually, he _loved _New York. Especially today, because the walk to the station, and the city full of all of its buzz and all of its people, and the lights and the commotion, kept his mind off of everything going on at home. How was he even supposed to call that home? Yeah, that's where his clothes were and his bed and all of his shit but he felt like it was just a _house_. It wasn't home. It didn't feel like home. Quinn had been his _sure_ thing from when he was just a high school kid. She knew him, his favorite food and color and all that shit. Yeah, maybe she didn't _understand_ him, but he had been pretty sure about her, because he didn't really know any other way without her.

His mom always told him he deserved better. Better than somebody that Quinn. She told him that he should be living his fairytale romance. He secretly thought that maybe it was his mom that wanted him to have the fairytale romance more than he wanted it but—scratch that. He totally wanted it too. And God knew he wasn't getting any fairytale 'Beauty and the Beast' endgame shit with Quinn.

He stopped at the Starbucks close to the station because had he really needed to throw the bagel and coffee that Quinn got him at the wall? He was _starving_. He joined the long line of people waiting for their chance to order and _should he order another bagel or should he go crazy with a chocolate chip muffin or something like that, because Quinn would never let him eat tha—_

That was when he saw her. _And it felt just like coming home._

He had to blink a few times because this couldn't be real. This could not be fucking real. But he would recognize that_ long thick brown hair and that beautiful olive skin and those long sculpted legs and that tiny chest that fit perfectly in his hands and those plump lips and that unique nose and those big brown eyes and— was she staring at him? _

"Rachel?" Finn breathed.

He watched the beautiful girl in front of him blink rapidly a few times, her huge eyes getting even bigger, if that was even possible.

He stepped out of line, closer to her. "I—I'm Finn. Finn Hudson," Finn stammered nervously, his voice shaking, as he held out his hand to shake hers.

Rachel giggled _and he had never heard a more beautiful noise in his life_ and she just stared at his outstretched arm with a curious look on her face, her eyes full of an emotion he just couldn't read until she was… _jumping into his arms?_

He held her tightly, close to his chest, trying to breath her in and be as close to her as possible because_ she was actually real and this was actually happening_. He couldn't believe it, but when he felt her smile against his chest, hoping she couldn't feel his heart because it was thumping wildly in his chest, he knew it was real.

She pulled away, a satisfied look in her eyes and he had the hardest time releasing her from his arms. Finn didn't have to ask her why she did that, why she hugged him, because she was already opening her mouth to speak.

"Hi Finn Hudson. I'm Rachel Berry." Rachel started giggling. "But I guess you already knew that?" Finn nodded dumbly. "And I'm sorry I may have been a little bit dramatic with the hug, people have called me a drama queen all my life for this exact reason, but I just felt like—I _feel _like we have a connection between us, you know? Something special," Rachel breathed, her last two words a whisper, so low he almost didn't hear her. But he did.

"I think so too."

Rachel beamed up at him, grabbing his hand and walking out of Starbucks, babbling about something, with Finn in tow and _she was the strangest girl he had ever met. _Apparently he had voiced his thoughts, but Rachel didn't look offended in the least. "I've been called worse."

"Oh—oh, no, I didn't mean it in a bad way." He stopped them in the middle of the sidewalk, because he just needed to look at her and to explain, even as a bunch of angry New Yorkers pushed them closer together and grumbled at them. Not that he minded. He liked being close to her. And when he looked down at her and she was looking up at him like he hung the moon or something, he felt like maybe she liked being really close to _him _too. "Strange isn't a bad thing. At least to me," Finn murmured. "You're different. You're… you're special."

She beamed up at him again and _man, that smile would never fail to get his heart going_ and a blush colored her cheeks. "Thank you, Finn," Rachel replied, humbled. "Maybe it's because I feel like this—us—is something special." Rachel blushed again, as if she was afraid she had said too much too soon. "And I know we just met," she hurried to continued, "but I feel like I've known you my whole life."

Finn grinned at her, his smile getting wider when she reached up to touch his face, caressing his unshaven cheek with a gentle hand.

"You have no idea."

He felt his phone vibrating in his pocket, and quickly checked the screen to see Quinn's name popping up. He pocketed his phone quickly, turning his attention to Rachel.

"Where are you headed?"

She smiled.

**Reviews are love**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or Faithfully (Journey owns that) **

**Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies  
Aristotle**

He could barely process a word she said, she was speaking so quickly and she was using all these really big words, like she was a human dictionary or something, but he couldn't care less because this was _real_. This was happening. Finn stared at the petite girl beside him and watched her plump, pink lips move rapidly and her eyes get all big and expressive.

"Finn Hudson, I can't even begin to explain the _rage_ I feel inside me when people pathetically attempt to argue that Beyoncé did a better job with 'The Way We Were' than Barbra Streisand. I can't even begin to comprehend the audacity of those people for comparing Barbra to a mere pop cover—"

He took her hand in his and intertwined their fingers.

He heard her take in a sharp breath and in his mind's eye, he imagined she looked up at him with huge doe eyes but he couldn't even look at her face because he was admiring their hands, how perfect her tiny, soft little hand fit in his giant, clumsy hands. Her nails were painted this really light pink and he thought it looked really pretty on her hands, because her skin had this olive tone to it, and her nails weren't claw-like or anything, they were just rounded and nice, and just- she was _so_ different from Quinn. Like, Quinn always had these sharp, pointy nails that she always had painted a dark color and—and—and then he couldn't even think, like, at all because Rachel was rubbing these little circles on his hand, over and over in the same spot, and his body did a million things all at once. He couldn't breathe, and his heart started thumping wildly and his legs felt all wobbly and how did she do that, just by touching his hand like that?

Finn then realized that he hadn't replied to Rachel and she had become silent, like five minutes ago, while he was marveling at the way their hands fit together.

"I—"

Rachel gave him this _look _that he just couldn't name but it was like, her eyes said more than he could have said and he knew he wasn't good with words or anything, so he hoped his eyes spoke volumes too.

And then it hit him.

He was _cheating_ on Quinn.

And yeah, he hadn't kissed Rachel or anything, they had just hugged and now they were holding hands but wasn't this, all of this, so much worse? He was _emotionally_ cheating on Quinn, because Grilled Cheesus knew his heart didn't belong to her anymore. And he barely knew Rachel or anything, aside from the fact that now he knew she loved Broadway and loved to talk and gave the best hugs ever and in his dreams, he knew she made the most amazing breathy noises and every time she whispered that she loved him it felt like his heart was going to explode so—so, yeah.

His heart basically had 'Property of Rachel' stamped on it.

But he knew better than this. He couldn't lead her on and be that guy. He couldn't cheat on Quinn. And he knew all about the effects of cheating. He remembered when his mom dated Darren, the lawn-care guy that he really liked when he was younger, mostly because he introduced him to classic rock. Darren was really weird but he didn't treat his mom like shit, like the past boyfriends she'd had. But then Darren cheated on her with a younger woman and he remembered that distraught his mom had been, how sometimes he'd just find her laying in her bed, in the dark, and just staring at the ceiling. Or when she would kiss him goodbye when he left for school, but her eyes lacked any emotion, any life. He couldn't do that to Quinn. He wasn't like Darren. _He wasn't that guy._

He reluctantly let go of Rachel's hand.

"So—uh— I guess I'm gonna, you know… go. Now."

Finn watched Rachel blink slowly a few times. "You work here?"

He looked up at the fire station and nodded nonchalantly. "Yeah. I've been working here for like, a few years now. Ever since I moved to New York with—" He just wanted to tell her. He had to tell her, obviously. They just met, it's not like she would be broken hearted or anything, and they didn't even really know each other so, like, what's the big deal right? "—with Quinn."

He watched the blood rush from her face and her hand flew to her neck, to twirl her necklace around. He figured she did that when she was nervous and stuff, because he had even seen her do it before, while they were walking here, when he smiled at her. But she had looked way different before, happier and all full of joy and stuff.

"Quinn?" Rachel questioned in a small voice.

"Yeah," Finn felt the blood drain from his own face. "Quinn. Quinn Fabray. My girlfriend."

Rachel's face looked like he slapped her. "You—you have a girlfriend?"

He rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah, we've been going out since freshman year of high school, back in Ohio. We moved here together, and… and she's—she's Quinn." He couldn't even look Rachel in the eyes because, man, she was an open book with her eyes. And right now, they just looked so heartbroken.

"You—" Rachel's breath caught in her throat. "You held my hand. You said… you said you felt like there was something special between us."

"I—I do! I know we've only known each other for, what, like an hour, but Rachel, I feel like—I've never been good with words and all so I don't really know how to describe what I'm feeling but… but when you _looked_ at me, I felt something, you know? It felt… it felt right. It felt like—like, coming home," Finn stuttered. "And I know maybe that doesn't make any sense but I've never felt that with Quinn and I've watched a lot of movies and I even met this old couple once and they loved each other, each other's flaws and everything, and I think about love a lot, you know? And I guess it's weird, because I'm a dude and all, but I mean, that's how people feel when they meet their _soul mate, _Rachel. I mean, _I_ feel like… you know that quote where it's like, 'someone, somewhere is made for you, forever?' I feel like—I feel like that." Her eyes widened even more, and the most beautiful blush he had ever seen spread all over her face, but she was shaking her head slowly, her eyes filled with disbelief and tears and he just felt like an utter and complete jackass and—_and why did his heart feel like it was breaking? _

And did she—did she growl at him? From the look on her face, it seemed like the noise she emitted from her throat surprised her, too. "I can't—_we_ can't—Finn, there is absolutely _nothing_ between us, there _can't_ be anything between us, because you are in a committed relationship! I refuse to partake in adultery!"

He felt like his world was spinning, because he didn't even have her in the first place so how could he _lose_ her, and this guy on the side of the road they were on was strumming his guitar softly and gently crooning a song and Finn stared at him.

_"__..._Wondering where I am lost without you  
And bein' apart ain't easy on this love affair,"

He averted his eyes back to Rachel, watching her chest heave in anger, and he doesn't think he'll ever be able to comprehend what he did next, but he doesn't think he will ever regret it, _ever_.

He grabbed her face and pressed his lips to hers, kissing her gently until he felt her reciprocate his kiss and _this was even better than any dream he had ever had _and then she was pulling away and _no no no no this can't be happening no no _and he guessed he deserved to be slapped in the face quickly after she pulled away, her palm leaving a stinging sensation on his now reddened cheek.

He watched her leave, running down the street in the opposite direction, tears trickling down her cheeks. "Rachel!"

She didn't turn around.

And besides the loud noise of his hammering heart, he could only hear the street singer.

"Two strangers learn to fall in love again  
I get the joy of rediscovering you  
Oh girl, you stand by me, I'm forever yours, faithfully"

And he remembered, one time, hearing about how a song can actually touch your soul. And he thought that maybe, this tenderly sung song just touched his soul. Because he knew _exactly_ what he had to do next.

**A/N: Forgive me **

**Reviews are love**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: To all of you wanting to break Quinn and Finn up… do you not see the magic between Finn and Rachel? Be patient, darlings! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or Yesterday by the Beatles **

**"****I'm not done with love, but I refuse to settle. I am a hopeless romantic. And I won't stop till I get it right"  
Halle Berry**

xxx

_"__Rach, Rach, baby, you have to stop or else—"_

_He felt her hot breath tickle his ear, "It's okay Finn. Let go. I want to watch you let go."_

_That was all the assurance he needed and with a few more jerky thrusts into her tiny hands, he let go and felt her smile into his neck, her hand stroking him to completion. He turned towards her, after his heart slowed down and he could actually see normally again because that was so awesome, he literally blacked out, and Finn watched her get off the bed and clean her hands before returning to him. _

_He held out his arm and she dove into him, into the tiny bed they shared, her face pressed into his chest, their sweaty bodies stuck together. He was still panting when she started talking._

_"__You always look so cute when you… you know. Every time." Rachel reached up and started to gently caress his scruffy cheek, giving him a smile that he knew was reserved just for him, and it made his heart feel all light and tight at once. _

_Finn kissed her forehead and smirked. "When I what?"_

_He watched Rachel pink and she pressed her face even further into his chest, like she was embarrassed or nervous or something, which Finn thought was absolutely hilarious because she couldn't even finish her sentence but he knew how much she loved dirty talk. Especially when he was the one talking._

_"__Baby… are you talking about when I... cum? Finn smirked when he watched her naked body go red, from head to toe. He could practically feel her entire body heat up against his and he laughed until she started slapping his chest lightly. "Finn Hudson, don't you dare laugh at me!"_

_"__But babe—" _

_"__Don't 'but babe' me, Finn Christopher Hudson!" He started laughing even more until—_

_"__Rach, did you say I was cute when I came? Not like… hot or sexy or anything?" Finn laughed. (But hey, it secretly kind of hurt because like, he always had problems with the way he looked, he always felt insecure about his body, so, like, knowing his own girlfriend didn't find him hot and stuff kinda sucked. A lot. It sucked a lot.)_

_He looked down at the brunette beauty in his arms that was smiling up at him, her knees tucked into her body, pressed into his thighs. "Finn, it's that adorable face that you do. I actually—every time I see you do that face, I—"_

_He watched her, willing her to go on. "Every time you do that face, it really turns me on, Finn. It's really cute, the way your eyes flutter closed," Rachel traced her finger softly over his eyelid, "And the way your mouth falls open… it's so, so sexy. You're so adorable and sexy and just… you're so handsome, Finny." _

_Finn blushed and watched her do the same. "You think so, Rach?"_

_He figured that the kiss she gave him meant she did think so. _

He woke up panting, his skin cold and covered in little beads of sweat. "Quinn?" Finn called out.

No answer.

His head plopped back down on the pillow and he tried to steady his breathing, reminding himself that it was just a dream.

4 months.

It had been 4 months since his encounter with Rachel and the same thing happened every morning. He woke up alone, after a great night filled with dreams of her, and then reality just had to slap him in the face.

He missed her. And he knew that maybe it was weird to miss somebody this much, somebody that he had only talked to once in reality, but he felt like a piece of his heart was missing. He didn't even bother with Quinn anymore. They were barely dating anymore, it seemed like they were just roommates. The most interaction they had with each other was a quick 'Hello' if they saw each other in the apartment or a note that said like, there's food left over for you in the oven. And Finn always found it a bit weird that there was quite a bit left, like she was cooking more people rather than just herself, but it's not like he complained or anything because that just meant there were more leftovers for him. She was never home when he woke up and he didn't even _care_. Sometimes, at night, he would feel the bed dip when she crawled in at like, 3 in the morning, but they stayed on opposite ends, as far away from each other as possible. And when he came home late, after a night hanging out with Puck and a few of the other guys from the station, he slept on the couch that was too small for him in their living room.

So yeah, he was living with Quinn, but his heart belonged to Rachel.

Except he didn't think she would ever forgive him because the one time he saw her at the coffeehouse they had met at – he had been going every single day, at the same time, just in case she was there, too – she had sprinted out the doors before he even had a chance to react and he ran out of the door, chasing her, while the barista yelled out that he forgot his coffee. Except this was New York, she got lost in the crowd before he even made it out the door.

So he hadn't seen her, he hadn't talked to her, in four months. And a piece of him was missing _it was with her _so it was like, he was living, but he wasn't _really _living. He was just sort of there, taking up space.

And he was just so bummed out this morning, because it really felt like he would never be seeing her, ever again. And it scared him, because he would never be _whole_ again.

Finn threw on his FDYN t-shirt and a pair of jeans, trudging out of his little apartment that looked more like a hotel than a home because of Quinn's weird decorating style. _Finn, we can't have your high school football trophy in here! We're going for 'modern and edgy,' Finn! Not…not… whatever you call that!_

He pushed her nasal voice out of his head, taking another route to work, because he didn't think that today, he would be able to bear the feeling of utter hopeless. He chewed on his peanut butter sandwich quietly, listening to the hustle and bustle of the city, and the soft, beautiful voice of a street singer.

"Why he had to go? I don't know, he wouldn't say  
I said something wrong  
Now I long for yesterday"

And then it was like, his feet were taking him towards the voice, and he would know that voice _anywhere_, when her singing was abruptly cut off and now he could hear… _was that screaming_ _oh my god no no no oh my god no _and then he was sprinting into an alley and—

"Get the _fuck_ away from her."

Finn hadn't even realized it was him that spoke, because his voice was so low and he practically _growled_ at the punks in front of him. And punks they were, because they were surrounding her and they were just a bunch of stupid kids, taunting her while she cowered on the ground.

"I'll say it one more time," Finn continued in a low voice. "Get the fuck away from her, or we'll have problems." He figured his height and his voice must have scared them (he was even scaring himself) because the little shit's ran away.

He ran to the small girl on the ground. "Rachel," Finn whispered, taking in her dress that was now ruined, splattered with mud. _Bastards_. "Rachel, it's okay. I'm here now."

Rachel looked up at his, her eyes huge and dark and then she was throwing herself into his arms, sobbing into his t-shirt and he was stroking her hair gently, trying to soothe her.

"Finn," Rachel whimpered, and he felt his heart break when she kept repeating on his name.

He pressed his lips against the hot skin of her neck, peppering kisses on every inch of her skin – her cheeks, her nose, her forehead, eyelids, everywhere except her lips, until he felt her breaths return to normal. Finn rubbed her back gently, through her torn cardigan, and he felt her fingers try to grab onto him, his skin, his shirt, his jeans, whatever she could grab. Not that he cared. She was in his arms.

"It's okay. I'm here. You're safe now."

**A/N I did not mean for the story to go in this direction, but the Finn Hudson in my brain told me it needed to happen**

**reviews are love **


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